A band that I listened to religiously fifteen+ years ago is playing reunion shows tonight and tomorrow. This is one of those bands that had a hand in shaping the person that I was and am. More than just music, these were guys I'd met, hung out with occasionally, and thought of as friends. Admittedly, given the thousands of listeners, touring around the country and world, etc, I was just another guy in just another city.

They swore it would never happen (a reunion show), but then a friend of theirs needed financial help with medical bills, and they decided to play a fundraiser for him. They're like that. Anyway, when I heard about it, I fully intended to be there and started making plans. Oh yeah, did I mention that it's in Louisville, KY? So it wasn't going to be simple or cheap.

A little back-story, I missed their final show back in 1994, largely due to stupidity and stubbornness, which also lead to not speaking to one of my closest friends for years, a friendship which has been recovered, but never quite the same (one of the few regrets I have in life). So this show also represented an opportunity to see the band One Last Time, and most likely with that friend. Perfect, right? I bought tickets the day they went on sale. When the second show was added, I bought those too.

And then my roller derby league announced the date for this year's tryouts. Same. Damn. Day.

Ever since then, I've been struggling with what to do. Everyone around me probably knows that derby has pretty much eaten my life. And as of a month ago, I'm now my league's Head Referee. We need to replace a couple of refs on the crew, so it's sort of important for me to be at tryouts to see the candidates skate. Of course there are a number of people that can cover those responsibilities, but it's something that I want to do. Derby isn't an obligation; I choose it.

So it's felt like myself from 15 years ago was arguing with myself from now. I should mention that I've driven over a thousand miles to see Endpoint play a couple of other times, so the trip wouldn't be all that out of the ordinary, for fifteen years ago. But which do I honor, where I came from, or where I am?

The drop dead date for the decision was about two weeks ago, when I would have had to buy the plane ticket. I had the money, although it was still a question of whether it was the wisest way to spend it. I had been thinking about it long and hard. I think I might have been perusing pictures and videos from those old shows when the answer hit me, and I made up my mind.

You can never go back. As much as I would love to be there, it wouldn't be what I wanted. I've never been to Louisville, nor seen EP play there, so there would be virtually nothing familiar about it. Sure, a couple of friends are making the trip, but I would know about three people in the crowd, not every single kid there (like the ol' St. Louis days). The guys in the band, if they did recognize me at all, wouldn't have more than a second to say hello and move on. They're going to be surrounded by all the kids from back in their day. Sure, it would be incredible to see and hear them play again. And there will be a vibe in the air that makes one feel connected to something larger. But it won't be what it was, at least not for me, and I fear that would make me feel sadder than anything. The feeling of being "connected" would most likely be at battle with the knowledge of how far apart I've grown from all of the kids from back then.

On the other hand, derby is my life now. And it has become the thing larger than myself, the DIY scene that punk and hardcore was to me back then. And I know a bunch of the people trying out, and I want to be there to support them, even if it is just by being there. Like I said, it's not an obligation, it's a choice.

Knowing all that, I couldn't justify the cost of the trip AND missing tryouts. Hopefully there'll be a DVD. Enjoy the show, if you'll be there, and my thoughts will certainly be with you all.

Mondays are when I'm supposed to submit my weekly team status report. I don't like doing that very much, so instead I'll write my life's status report for all of you.

Derby, Derby, Derby.

Derby is going well for both watterflower and me. She's been elected to her league's Board of Gov'nuhs, and I've been elected Assistant Head Ref by my fellow referees. (This is a new position created this year.) There's also a new Head Ref [Rocky]. I'm incredibly excited at the opportunity and the work ahead of us. I have a great deal of respect for Spike and what he's done for this league, and I'm looking forward to building on top of that. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that about a year ago I broke my ankle and was going to miss try-outs.

You might ask when the off season of derby is. Well, some people take the summer off, but I can't imagine trying to pick it back up after four months or so of not skating. I continue to attend practice with the All Stars, who are at it all summer long. Now, with my new role, and new refs coming in, there's even less of a break. It's all good, but I do miss my friends. We're trying to do a better job of making time, but it's tough.

And RollerCon '09 is like a month away! Gah, must buy plane tickets...

The House.

Well, we're not getting as much done as we'd like with all the derby. I finally built a table for the Big Green Egg. It worked beautifully for the Memorial Day BBQ, and I love taking the meat off of the grill and eating right there. We also hung outdoor speakers for the back deck, and that makes it really nice. Now to enjoy it more often. We also replaced the older, icky gazebo with a matchy-matchy one from Target. It really opens the yard up between the deck and firepit. Right now, probably the most pressing thing is to finish cleaning up from the BBQ. I realize it's been a month, but like I said, we've been busy. It isn't garbage sitting around, more like sodas, tubs, the folding tables, etc. After that, it'd be nice to unpack the office, or maybe set up the basement.

Woodworking.

I bought a band saw a while ago. At first I wasn't 100% thrilled with it, but once I put a smaller blade on it, I've been pleased with having it around. I've mostly been working on pens, but I've branched away from just making the stock pen kits. By leaving out the center band of the 7mm kits, I've been able to make whatever I like. I've also played around with cutting the blanks in half [all wavy-like], and gluing them back together with veneer in the middle. The result is a pen with wavy lines of contrasting wood through the tube. Also very cool. The last thing I've tried is to throw a little detailing in either with a burn wire (which creates black grooves) or by cutting coves and peaks in. I'm a little reserved with how far I take it, though. I'm going for accent, not table leg. You can see some of the pics on Facebook, if'n you're over there too.

People occasionally offer to buy one, but I still wouldn't know what to charge. So they're still mostly give-aways as thank you's or occasional presents. The thing is, to give one up for money, considering the cost of materials and my time, and more to the point, my attachment to 'em, I'd probably want $50+ to even start. But I'm self-conscious putting that kind of price on something I made. I think it's more of a loss avoidance thing. I really like a lot of them, and that's how much I'd have to bring in to consider getting rid of it. Make sense? (And before you point out that I'm giving them away now, it's not unheard of for me to give a friend that much without hesitation. It's just usually in food, liquor, wine, labor, etc.)

I'm also going to make a rocking horse for my new cousin. But I haven't even gotten the wood for that yet. Oooh, I just realized that Rockler has wide walnut on sale. That might work.

Other.

I bought a new iPhone 3Gs. I've still got my Blackberry, so I'm carrying both around right now. They're good at different things. Well, I suppose the BB is good at getting my work email, and it's the number I've had for six years (a personal record). The iPhone is better at just about everything else.

Knitting, cooking, bread-baking, reading, yeah. Not so much. Maybe I'll have a quiet weekend when everyone else I know is at CONvergence.

Oh, Mountain Dew, how I've missed thee.

As many of you know, I "gave up" High Fructose Corn Syrup a couple of years ago. Some people may think it's a little silly, especially since some of you reading this *can't* consume HFCS. The idea of voluntarily giving up something that I can eat when it's not exactly clear-cut that it's bad for you, well, even I doubt myself sometimes. But what it comes down to is I lost probably 20+ pounds after cutting it out of my diet, and I generally felt better. Unfortunately, in recent months I've discovered that most "energy drinks" like Red Bull, Monster, and Rock Star are actually made with sugar, and I've probably gained some of that weight back. There's also the vast array of non-HFCS sodas and drinks out (Jones, Izze's, Vitamin Water, etc, etc, etc) I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my weight, so I don't know for sure. But anyway...

The hardest part for me was giving up Mountain Dew. On one hand, when I find myself so reliant (or "addicted") to something like that, my natural inclination is to cut myself off. On the other, even two years later, Mountain Dew is what causes me to stand in the grocery aisle pondering my life choices. Until now.

Yesterday, PepsiCo released Mountain Dew Throwback, made with real sugar (not even sucrose, like Kosher Coke, *sugar*)! I sort of looked for it at lunch, but didn't see it at SA. Today, I went looking for real, and I found it at Byerly's. There's now a 12 10 pack on my desk at work, and a 12 in the car for home. And I'm enjoying my first Mountain Dew in a long, long time. I'm going to need to stock-up since it's only going to be around until June.

Oh the sweet, sweet nectar...

Part of the reason why I posted about the delayed eBay delivery was to trigger Murphy's Law. Typically, as soon as I lose patience is when something finally happens. (Yes, yes, yes, coincidence, correlation v. causation, and all that.) But it worked. The box arrived today via FedEx. With an extra set of old Hyper Witch Doctors. Sweet.

So I won an auction on eBay a couple of weeks ago, but I haven't gotten my stuff yet.

March 29: Auction won. Payment made same day via Paypal. Seller stated in auction that she only ships stuff on Wednesdays and Thursdays (and it's a Sunday), so I expect to wait a little while to get my stuff.

April 2: It's Thursday, I haven't heard anything from the seller. I write asking to confirm that she's shipped. She reminds me that she only ships on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and that they'd been shipped that day.

April 6: Now the next Monday, I get an email from the seller. She's been sick and had asked her husband to dropped off the package. He didn't. She apologizes profusely, promises that they'll be mailed the next day, and is throwing in an extra set of wheels to make up for it. She says she'll email to confirm after they've been shipped.

April 15: Haven't received any emails, and no packages have arrived. I send another note asking what's up, requesting a tracking number if possible, etc.

April 16: No response yet.

So my questions, am I being impatient? Did I just get ripped off? Do I have any recourse through eBay other than to leave negative feedback? It's not all that much money, but it still sucks.

The thing that makes me extra nervous is that another set of wheels similar to the ones I won just showed up on eBay. The picture looks different (but it could just be tinting), it's a different seller, but both of them live in TX (although San Antonio vs. Ft. Worth suburb). And the new seller says they only ship two days a week. Am I being overly suspicious?

Shamrocks & Shenanigans
Garda Belts vs. Rockits
Atomic Bombshells vs. Dagger Dolls

DETAILS
Saturday, March 21st
Doors at 6:30pm, bout at 7:30pm
Roy Wilkins Auditorium, St. Paul
Tickets  |  Directions  |  Parking

FEATURED ENTERTAINMENT
Featuring half-time entertainment by RuDeGirl. Pre-show featuring Kuk Sool Won.

GET THERE EARLY, GET A FREEBIE
We'll be giving away a special limited edition Minnesota RollerGirls t-shirt to the first 200 people in the doors. There will also be a very limited quantity (just 25) for sale for $15 and when they're gone, they're gone. So get there early!

GET A BLACK EYE OR SHOW YOUR TEAM SPIRIT
Get old-fashioned black eyes for a buck at our Black Eye Booth ... OR support your favorite home team for just a $2 donation. (Kids always free!) If you think we've done an exceptional job, a more generous donation is always appreciated. All proceeds go to the bout charity, Avenues For Homeless Youth.

AFTER PARTY
Join us at O'Gara's after the bout to hobnob with your favorite rollergirls, and enjoy PBR drink specials.

CHARITY
Avenues For Homeless Youth

I played hockey in high school. Well, honestly that's an over-statement. I started in junior high, and then freshman and sophomore year I played with the summer team. That was where the not-so-good players tried to get better and the better players played for fun. I started skating way too late in life, so I never had a chance to be very good. At least not without putting in more hours than I would have been willing to give up. Anyway, I sucked. I did tip in a goal once, but I think it would've gone in with or without me. But I always remember the experience fondly. It gave me a deeper appreciation of the game, and at least I tried. That was twenty years ago (which boggles my mind to realize).

Last night I went out with a few of the girls from the derby league to play. As always, I was trepidatious of making a fool of myself, but hey, there's that whole comfort zone people seem to eschew, and it wasn't a serious game. Actually it wasn't a game at all. We just skated around with sticks and passed the puck around. The hockey equivalent of playing catch, if you will. When we did try to play a little more of a game, some lady with her kid got crotchety and the rink manager told us we couldn't play outside of the actual hockey rink (where there were already people much better than us playing). So we played tag instead. Crotchety Lady got pissy about that too, but she couldn't stop us, so she just left. (There was plenty of ice for everyone, why do people have to be like that?)

Anyway, once I got my feet under me, I had a great time. I was able to put the puck roughly where I wanted it (even with all the snow on the ice). I made a couple of nice moves. Don't get me wrong, I still sucked. But I had fun doing it, and as long as I didn't compare myself with the guys inside the rink actually playing, I didn't feel like a fool. One thing that helps, is that I like the diving plays. I don't mind hitting the ice if you look cool doing it, and it's fun.

Probably most importantly, the experience has quelled any notion that I should buy pads and try to play. Not that it was a real possibility, I am a little more grounded in reality than that. I'll continue to go out and have fun as the opportunity arises, but no more than that.

One last little thing. While playing tag, I realized it was a lot like the Serengeti. You don't have to be the fastest skater, you just can't be the slowest one. :)

This bout will also see watterflower celebrating her birthday...



FALLEN ANGELS
Dagger Dolls vs. Garda Belts
Atomic Bombshells vs. Rockits

DETAILS
Saturday, January 24
Doors at 6:30pm, bout at 7:30pm
Roy Wilkins Auditorium, St. Paul
Tickets  |  Directions  |  Parking

BRING A KIDS BOOK DONATION, GET $2 OFF ADMISSION
Bring a new or gently used book for ages 3 - 3rd grade to the door and we'll give you a $2 coupon for your ticket purchase at the door. Look for the donation bins in the hallways. The books are going to the Minnesota Reading Corps.

FEATURED ENTERTAINMENT
Featuring half-time entertainment by Neil Dynamite. Pre-show featuring the Harmony Hoops.

GET THERE EARLY, GET A FREEBIE
We'll be giving away a special limited edition Minnesota RollerGirls t-shirt to the first 200 people in the doors. There will also be a very limited quantity for sale for $15 and when they're gone, they're gone. So get there early!

GET A BLACK EYE OR SHOW YOUR TEAM SPIRIT
Get old fashioned black eyes for a buck at our Black Eye Booth ... OR support your favorite home team for just $2. (Kids always free!) Tips are always welcome if you think we've done an exceptional job and all proceeds go to the bout charity, Avenues For Homeless Youth.

AFTER PARTY
Join us at O'GARA'S after the bout to hob-knob with your favorite rollergirls and enjoy PBR drink specials.

CHARITY
Avenues For Homeless Youth

THE SANTA RUN
The Santa Run to Benefit Legal Aid is a 1 and 1/4 mile run/walk down Nicollet Mall; imagine hundreds of red-coated Santas and colorful Dreidels running down Nicollet Mall - all to raise money to provide free civil legal services for poor and disadvantaged Minnesotans.

DETAILS
Saturday, December 6, 4pm
1130 Nicollet Mall (Downtown Minneapolis)
http://www.midmnlegal.org/

DONATE
Contribute to the Minnesota RollerGirls's team member at:
http://www.active.com/donate/legalaid08/SNinja

Just pick your favorite skater under "Select Member Page" at the top, and thank you for caring!

I was having lunch with an old friend from college yesterday. She grew up in Minnesota [Winona], went to undergrad here [Macalester], but then moved on to Yale and eventually to live and work in LA. She's been in town for the last few months working on the new Coen brothers movie. For the last [almost] ten years, she's only come back to visit, but being here for three months has meant that she was living here.

At one time, her plan had been to build her career out West, but then eventually come back to live here. Unfortunately [for me] there aren't really a lot of opportunities for her to work at what she does here, and fewer at the level she's getting to. Which means that she'd probably have to teach, and she doesn't like the serpent-eating-its-own-tail aspect of theater graduates going back to teach more theater students.

In any case, knowing that I had moved away and then come back, she asked what it is about the Cities that brings us all back here. I didn't have an immediate answer more in-depth than "it's awesome here," and told her that I'd have to think about it.

Why do so many people choose to live here? I'm not talking about people that grew up here, or even really people that came here for college and never left. For the most part they didn't make the choice to live here. Circumstances prevailed. However I am talking about people that left and came back. It's a common saying that "they all come back," but why?

My early thoughts are that it just feels like home here (and always has, actually, from the day I stepped foot in the state), and of course this is where so many of my closest friends are. But it's more than that too. "It's a great place to live," but why? The next thing that crossed my mind is that the amenities/quality-of-life versus cost-of-living ratio is really high here. There are much cheaper places to live, but they don't have as much stuff to do. There are cities with far greater "scenes" and activity, but they're also very expensive. Here, I can both afford to buy a house, and we have an amazingly active city. Theater, theater, theater, improv, TWO roller derby leagues, museums, colleges, concert venues of every size, crazy things like zombie pub crawls, scavenger hunts, and puzzle-quests. The list goes on and on.

The people here have a lot to do with it too. People make jokes about "Minnesota Nice", and it can be two-faced at times. But I have found that there's a general sense of looking out for your neighbors and friendliness here, at least more-so than in some other places. When I lived in Boston, it was refreshing at first to be in a place where people didn't pretend to like you. But after a while the lack of just being polite got old. I swear people out there will step over your crippled and bleeding body if they're late for the train. I have just found more genuinely good people here.

Anyway, I'm pretty wiped out from cooking all day long, and I should go to bed. But I leave it to you, Minnesotan readers, why do you choose to live here?